I would send Ashley flowers...

My mom just got back from the ugliest dog contest. We all won, and we all got gold trophies, and cookies, and tamales. Last night I snuck into this mans cubicle, opened up all his drawers, and replaced all the papers he had in them with daffodils, marigolds, honeysuckle, and daisies. I think he'll like it. When I eat food I try to make it fit into the pieces of food I've already eaten, like Tetris in my stomach. Mister Mouse won't let go of me, he says I need to lose weight, he says to lose weight I should try eating negative food. When I was five I would hallucinate, I saw shadows moving in the hall, it scared the fuck out of me. I also saw blue and red lines flying all around the room, it didn't scare me at all. I kind of liked it to be honest. I'm the king of something.